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March 26, 2007

What's a plastic nipple got that I don't?

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Wow! Sienna is 2 weeks old! We were released from the hospital on the 14th. Before we left, we took a postpartum class where we learned how to change the baby's diaper, burp her and swaddle her. It was very helpful but I wish we learned it sooner. The woman teaching the class is also a lactation specialist so she helped me get Sienna to my breast, which I was having trouble with. She told me to keep practicing with her. Well, she made it seem so easy at the hospital and it looked like Sienna was taking to my breast. She said it didn't matter if she just got my nipple (which is the total opposite of all the books!) as long as she was latching on. I was quite relieved but it was a different story when I got home. She kept struggling to keep my nipple in her mouth. I don't know what changed! Because she's a preemie (even tho they said her birth weight is a good weight) the pediatrician at the hospital wanted me to supplement with formula to make sure she gets enough to eat. And that's what is most important, that she gets enough to eat! But boy, did I feel like a failure! I took for granted how hard this breastfeeding was going to be and the books don't really help make you feel better. They are so pro breastfeeding and speak so highly of the benefits but don't tell you how difficult it could be that it makes you feel guilty that you can't provide this simple little thing for your baby. I since learned that the majority of mothers I know had trouble with it!! I'm trying to pump as much as I can so at least I can fool my body into making more milk and also give the baby my milk via bottle so we don't always have to rely on formula. For now, I barely get an ounce of milk a day. It was hard to find time to pump during the first week and a half. It was stupid of me to try to be super mom during that time and I hope I didn't miss the window of opportunity to produce more milk. It's crazy the things I worry about now!

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It really is truly amazing how the birth of a child can really change you. I don't think fathers can feel it as strongly as mothers can, I mean, shoot, I was the one that carried her for 8 months and pushed the little bugger out 2 weeks ago (and without DRUGS! Need I remind you?!) I'm sure as I get more and more used to the idea that, SHIT, I'm somebody's mother! I'll get back to my more normal self but right now I can't even think about all the other things I was interested in. Art? not right now. Concerts? not right now. Stare at the baby all day? Hell yeah! Be amazed that me and Yves produced this little wonder? Hell yeah! We haven't even really gone camera crazy with her just yet either! I guess we are still in a state of shock and as the weeks go by, we'll come back down to earth a little more.

Posted by luluvision at March 26, 2007 03:50 PM

Comments

Oh Lu, she's so fantastic. Don't you fret about the whole "not latching on" thing. You do what you know is best with what you have! You and Yves are awesome and she will be fine.
I love that first pic where she is looking RIGHT AT the camera! (or is it you? hee hee) Her hair is so pretty..I love it when newborns have so much hair. *sigh*
Share some more photos with us when you get the time! I'm feeling withdrawls!

Posted by: Dana [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 27, 2007 09:26 AM

Just keep reminding yourself how others indeed have this problem (you're certainly not alone) and how much you have accomplished already: you gave birth to her and WITHOUT DRUGS! Not to mention that you're going to be the coolest mom and dad on the block....you should feel like the rock star that you are. Also don't forget you have a support system behind you-no matter how crazy certain relatives may make you, there's always your friends to help restore normalcy to your world. Hang in there. xoxo

Posted by: jungy [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 29, 2007 09:13 AM

oh man she is so cute i can't STAND it!!!!!

Posted by: jen [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 30, 2007 04:48 PM

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